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  “Because I worked hard to pass the bar. I was a good student, I write and argue great. On standardized tests I freeze. I passed the bar and got a good offer from C.K. Dexter and Associates. They have such a great reputation and my father never worked there, so I took it. Leaving Chicago would be running away from my parents. Besides, I like living here. Where else could I have friends like you and Marina?”

  “And you got to stay near Nick.” I wasn’t sure if that’d make her happy or not.

  “Which meant I didn’t have an easy excuse to break up with him. That was hard.”

  “And you haven’t seen him since?” I asked. That was really sad.

  Lori shook her head. “I avoid his garage and where he hangs out. Those places were never really my style anyway.”

  I didn’t believe that though I nodded supportively. “Well, I’m sure Marina will find him and you can put him behind you for good.”

  “I thought I had. I believed he was just my best sex ever. Now all these feelings keep coming back.” Lori rubbed the back of her neck uncomfortably.

  “Then it’s good we’re doing this. I hope I don’t make a fool of myself over Brian or in finding Lucas for Marina. I’m not good at starting conversations with men. I’ll screw it up for sure.”

  “Marina deserves to see him again. Just do it, get it over with. It’s only one phone call to start. I’m more worried about your guy. He’s long distance. How will we work that out?” Lori asked.

  “I don’t know. Have you talked to Brian yet?” I felt my heart flutter and wondered if it was real feelings or just my normal nerves.

  “No, I got his home phone number and I’ll call him this afternoon. My sources say he isn’t married. He has a roommate.”

  “Male or female?” I tried not to sound overeager.

  “Male,” Lori replied. “That tells us nothing. He could have a girlfriend.”

  “Can I listen in?” I asked.

  “Not a chance!” Lori wagged her finger at me. “You’ll find out the results at the weekly meeting with Marina. Brian will last until then.”

  “I moved to Chicago. I could handle moving to Los Angeles if Brian were the right one,” I thought out loud.

  “Weather is better,” Lori admitted. “Still you can’t get decent pizza to save your life.”

  “I could make Chicago pizza,” I returned.

  “I dare you to make a really good Chicago style deep dish pizza for our first weekly meeting.”

  “You doubt me?” I crossed my arms offended.

  “No, I want good deep dish pizza.” She smiled.

  “You’ll get your pizza.” I nodded with confidence.

  “Good, now I better get back to work.” Lori signed for the bill and we headed to the door. “You can manage the El from here, right?”

  “Yes, Mom.” I spotted the platform across the street and understood why Lori had picked that restaurant for lunch.

  I tried to shake the fear of what Lori might find out from Brian as a train rattled overhead. He was a very sweet guy and Lori could easily cross-examine him to the point where he’d never want to speak to me again.

  I made it home and pulled out Marina’s information on Lucas. Why wait? I could at least make sure he still worked at the same place and do the preliminary stuff. Going down there or speaking to him would take a little courage.

  It wasn’t natural for me to approach strange men so I couldn’t be as casual about it as Lori or Marina. They dealt with the public and made conversation in their jobs. I stayed in the kitchen and dealt with the same staff night in and night out.

  Marina, of course had no picture of Lucas. She had his business card. I set it on the coffee table and proceeded to pick up the suits I’d left out when dressing that morning. I put Marina’s makeup on the island where she’d see it and I wouldn’t forget about it in my purse.

  Housework was an excellent distraction. I was avoiding making that call and I knew it. I made my bed again and put everything in the bedroom in order before I returned to the living room and sat on the sofa. The card waited there patiently as I plumped the pillows and lit the candle and turned on some music.

  I then realized I was still in the interview suit and returned to my bedroom to change. I had to be comfortable for this. Marina wasn’t good at finding men so this might be her chance at true love and great sex.

  Finally in jeans and a Green Bay Packers sweatshirt, I could only wear cheesehead contraband when Marina and Lori weren’t around, I settled in with my phone and the business card. My toes felt a chill but I told myself I couldn’t get up from the sofa and get socks until I made this call. Just make sure he still works there, make contact. That’s all, I told myself.

  I dialed the phone and got the right financial firm. “Lucas Rigby, please,” I said.

  “One moment, please,” the receptionist said and I heard the phone ringing. He still worked there. Good. Hang up. I could disconnect the call and that was enough for today.

  “Rigby,” a strong male voice answered. Too late to hang up now without looking rude or possibly getting caught by caller id.

  “Hello,” I said.

  “Who’s this?” Lucas asked.

  Suddenly I felt my courage take over. He had no idea who I was so I put on my best Chicago talk and went for it. “This is Doreen McNicolas from Windy City Floral. Is this the Lucas Rigby that ordered two dozen long stem red roses for his wife? He didn’t leave a number and we can’t read the address my assistant wrote down to send them to.”

  “Not me.” Lucas hung up before I could go on. I liked my little bit of acting. It had worked and I didn’t feel stupid. Unfortunately, he hadn’t told me whether he was or wasn’t married, only that he hadn’t ordered the non-existent flowers. Not a chatty guy.

  Still it was a victory. I had made contact and knew where he was. At least I’d have something to report at the weekly meeting. Taking today off meant I’d be working the rest of the week and wouldn’t get a chance to go to his firm. That would wait for next week. Plenty of time to come up with the reason and the courage.

  Now I was anxious for what Lori had found out about Brian and there was nothing left to clean.

  Chapter Three

  Lori In Action

  Enough about Nick! All the way back to the office, I had felt like a complete idiot. Much as I’d tried, I couldn’t get him out of my mind. He was ancient history and not only could I not forget him. I probably had bored poor Jen about him over lunch when I knew nothing could happen. Some things can’t peacefully coexist. My family and Nick are two such things. Nothing good could come from finding him again.

  I plowed through the rest of my afternoon at work, trying to distract myself. The memories kept teasing me while I worked on a brief.

  Finally, I was caught up and all that was left was to call Jen’s Brian. Since it was long distance, I wouldn’t have the luxury of bumping into him or flirting with him to make casual conversation. I’d have to take the more direct approach.

  I punched in Brian's home phone number and leaned back in my leather chair while the speakerphone rang. My view of another Chicago high-rise was uninspiring. To have a window at all was remarkable. My office was little more than a closet. Still it was better than most associates got. I made it feel larger with mirrors and paintings that had depth. The mauve and gray walls were from the last time a company-wide redecorating effort had been conducted, the late eighties.

  I guess Marina and Jen were right, I’d done pretty well for an associate without using any of my father’s connections. They didn’t understand that I wanted to blow my parents away with my success. Nothing I did was ever good enough. There was always a criticism behind any compliment.

  For now, it was one thing at a time and right now, that thing was to help Jen find her Brian. Hopefully, he deserved her.

  "Hello?" answered a male voice.

  "Is this Brian?" I remembered this was a social call and put on my sweet voice as opposed to my bitchy, scare
-the-hell-out-of-them lawyer voice.

  "No, Brian's at work. Who's this?"

  "This is Lori Craig. I was trying to look up Brian for a friend of mine. She and Brian used to date. Do you know when he’ll be home?"

  "Is this a joke?" the guy asked. "Am I on the radio? Brian set this up right?"

  "No, I'm looking for Brian."

  "To set him up with an ex-girlfriend?" The man was laughing into the phone.

  I wanted to hang up. This whole thing was crazy. He was my only contact. "That's right. Is something wrong?"

  "Brian set this up for our one year anniversary, right? This is priceless. Brian is such a practical joker. His ex-girlfriend. That’s really funny!"

  "Your anniversary?" I suddenly got the joke. Brian was obviously no longer into girls. "Well happy anniversary!"

  I hung up and started laughing. Jen had turned her sweet Brian firmly gay. Poor Jen! Marina and I would never let her live this down. He had clearly been confused and Jen helped him decide. This was too much! Marina and I needed to help Jen with her gaydar.

  I dreamed about how exactly I'd reveal the truth at our first weekly meeting until I was interrupted by a knock on my door. My assistant poked her head in.

  "I thought you had to leave right on time today for that ultra-early holiday party?" she asked. “It’s after six.”

  Damn! I was half an hour late already. "Thanks Anne, I completely forgot." I grabbed my jacket and headed for the elevators.

  Ten minutes later, I pulled out of the parking garage and merged into downtown rush hour traffic. My mother and the hostess of this party were friends from private school and were infamous for conspiring to set me up with anything male they deemed financially and socially worthy. All of their choices were dull, desperate, or terrified of me. This wouldn’t be a fun party.

  Stopped at a red light, I imagined what it'd be like to show up with Nick. They'd all be whispering behind their drinks and looking down their noses at him. They’d ask rude questions about who his parents were and where he’d matriculated. Why did that make me grin so hard?

  A honk from behind made me look up and see the light was green. I finally looked around and noticed I was on the street where Nick's garage was. In the complete opposite end of the city from where I needed to be.

  I had lost my mind.

  I immediately pulled into the restaurant next door to turn around. Something stopped me. I couldn't resist looking into the garage from the safety of my car. Nick knew what I drove, if he saw me I’d be caught. I couldn’t help it.

  Maybe he’d gotten fat and bald? I crossed my fingers and inched the car closer. I got a glimpse of him talking to a customer and felt the urge to talk to him and then strip him naked. He hadn’t changed a bit except maybe gotten better looking. He was tall and lean like a swimmer and very good with his hands. At least he was the last time I saw him. Touching him would be enough. One more kiss. Just one more time.

  Instead, I hit the gas.

  ~* * *~

  Forty-five minutes later, I got off the elevator and entered one of the most expensive penthouses in Chicago with a stunning view of the lake. My parents’ friends were disgustingly rich and hated to be snubbed. Every year they had their holiday party one week before Thanksgiving, so everyone would come. If they waited until the holiday season, there might be conflicts. Still they thought of themselves as down-to-earth.

  As a butler took my coat, a waiter offered me a flute of champagne, which I eagerly took. The party wouldn't be all bad. They always had good food, the best alcohol, lavish decorations, and a waiter or two worth looking at.

  What was wrong with me? Men were men! So why wasn't it as easy for me to fall for a rich one as it was to fall for a poor one? It couldn’t be that hard.

  "Lori, you're late," my mother scolded as she appeared at my shoulder.

  "Sorry, got stuck at work." That excuse would go nowhere with my mother, still I enjoyed making the point that I was an adult who earned her own way. She believed until her children were married we weren’t truly adults. Unfortunately, I was the only single one left.

  It was in my mother’s nature to coordinate everything she could. My mother was dressed perfectly and had on just enough jewelry to signify daddy's wealth without looking like she was showing off. I wish I had at least one sister rather than two brothers. Maybe then, there would be a little less pressure on me.

  "You can't spend your life as a lawyer," Mother said as though it were a law of nature.

  "Worked for daddy."

  "Of course. He worked and I raised the children. Motherhood is a fulltime job, no matter what your generation says."

  "Our nanny had nothing do with your children." I could’ve gone farther back.

  "I beg your pardon?" I could tell mother wanted to argue with me however, there were too many ears to do it properly. I didn’t care if she’d heard. She’d object to my tone if nothing else.

  "Nothing, I don't have kids to raise or a husband to party plan for so it doesn't matter if I work myself to death. I enjoy it."

  "You’re thirty years old now, Lori. Your biological clock is ticking. I don't care about medical breakthroughs. You should have children when you're young enough to enjoy them. I only hope I live to see your wedding."

  "You're only fifty-five, Mother," I said a little too loudly. Her lips pursed and her eyes darted around to see if anyone had heard her true age.

  That's what she got for dumping guilt on me as soon as I was in the door. Marina thought her mother's Catholic guilt was over the top. I’d admit her family was more dramatic. My mother could serve it up cold and fast.

  "I can't force you to get married or have children. Honestly, you could be a little more open minded. There are some very nice men here." My mother smiled at an acquaintance and headed off in the direction of the hostess.

  At least this encounter with Mother had been blissfully short. Unfortunately, the evening wasn’t over. I looked around for someone I knew who wouldn’t try to set me up. I was thrilled to see Diana Harris heading for me.

  I was saved! A friend from high school who chose college and career over society and marriage. A pediatrician, Diana took the same shit about working too much and not finding a man fast enough. There was power in numbers. She was my salvation and, with her, I wouldn’t feel so alone.

  “Lori, I’m so glad you came!” Diana hugged me like we were best friends. “We haven’t seen each other since your parents’ party last year. Are they still doing their traditional Eve of Christmas Eve party?”

  I wanted to point out that they had been having that party every year since before I was born. For now, she was on my side, so I’d better be nice. “Of course they’re having the party. How are you doing?”

  “Great! And you?” Diana seemed full of energy.

  “Glad to see you. My mother is on the wedding warpath and I don’t have a date. I turned thirty last week.” I drank the rest of my champagne in one unladylike gulp.

  “What is it with that age? My mother was terrified I was going to end up thirty and alone too.”

  I knew Diana was a few months older than me. I was clearly missing something. “Did you get married and not tell me?”

  “Oh, I thought you knew. I got engaged.” She stuck out her hand with a huge emerald-cut diamond ring.

  My companion in the single, professional women’s club had betrayed me. I wanted to sink through the floor. That children’s song “The Farmer in the Dell” ran through my head until the last line…”the cheese stands alone.”

  When did I become the cheese?

  I mustered a smile for my friend. “I didn’t even know you were seeing anyone. Congratulations! How did you two meet?”

  “It was the weirdest thing. I got set up on a blind date by a nurse at work for a New Years Eve party.”

  “That’s pressure. A first date on New Year’s Eve.” Polite conversation, I could do this.

  “Absolutely. I was sure it’d be terrible and I’d be
strangling that nurse Monday morning. I was happily surprised. Greg isn’t a model but he’s cute and in great shape. He’s a trainer for the Bears. We hit it off and have been together ever since. Once a month, he brings a player to the hospital to visit the kids. He’s so sweet! We took a vacation to Hawaii over the summer and he proposed.”

  “That’s great. Your parents like him?” I could only hope she’d at least have broken with tradition and gone for a man without connections.

  “They adore him. His parents own a team out west but he’s like us, a rebel. He won’t work for the team his dad owns. He should be coming. They had a game tonight.”

  “He’s definitely got great taste in women and jewelry!” I couldn’t help being happy for Diana. Clearly, she was in love and her future husband was from a rich family yet worked for a living. He even did charity with her patients. How did she get off so easy? Her man sounded perfect. There wasn’t supposed to be such a thing as a good blind date anyway.

  “Thanks. I’m so amazed what happened to me in one year. Enough about me. What’s new with you?” Diana tapped my arm with her left hand so the ring glimmered at me.

  I plastered a smile on my face as I twirled my empty champagne flute, needing a refill. “Work is great. I won this huge case.” Diana’s eyes darted to the door, and I knew I’d lost her attention.

  “There’s Greg.” Diana waved at a tall and extremely well muscled man. He headed for us with an equally goofy smile. Sickeningly in love, both of them! “You made it!” Diana hopped up on her toes to kiss him.

  I felt like I should turn away. I decided to take the high road. “I hope this is the much praised Greg.” I joked to get them to come up for air.

  “Lori’s always a smart ass.” Diana wrapped an arm around Greg and held tight. “Of course this is him. Greg, this is Lori, a friend from high school.”

  He shook my hand with a grip that felt like he used every one of those overdeveloped muscles. I had to admit, he flexed well. “A pleasure to meet you.”